Ruins of a Palace
by Ruby Feathers
Summary: James and Sirius were knights in shining armor of barbed insults to Slytherins. They made a castle for themselves out of ridicule and hexes in the hallway and 'Snivellus' and just plain fear.


James and Sirius fit together perfectly because they were the same person from the moment they met. Spoiled rich kids (Sirius started off as one, at least), with identical arrogant smirks and a love for pranking that bordered on just hurtful. They were _knights_ in shining armor of barbed insults to Slytherins.

They made a castle for themselves out of ridicule and hexes in the hallway and '_Snivellus'_ and just plain _fear_. And they were the king – _JamesandSirius,_ _BlackandPotter_, one person, always. They were tyrants – ruthless and swaggering and _'let them eat cake!'_ just-plain-horrible. But even with grumbling revolutionaries like Severus Snape (who spent his life in a jail cell of hatred and derision), they held the key to the world in their fingers, with blood-purity, riches, charisma, and nobility. And even with the key to the world, they pushed just to see how far they could go before everything fell apart around them.

But they were bestfriendsforever (never brothers until after James' death – because Sirius had had a brother and it hadn't worked out well), and they knew it from little secrets and hushed promises in the dead of night. They would _always_ protect each other – even when Sirius almost killed Snivellus, even when James accidentally sent Regulus to the hospital wing with a prank. Even when they hated each other. Because if friends are your family, then bestfriendsforever are practically like annoying voices in your head – you can't _ever_ get them out, even if you tried; and if you did, you'd only feel emptier and colder than before.

Back then, they didn't realize that they were only pretending. There were worse stories every day, in the newspapers – "8 MORE MUGGLES KILLED IN ATTACK," or "2 AURORS DIE IN VICIOUS BATTLE," and even though they should have _felt_ something, should have _reacted_, they didn't. They were invincible, untouchable, and the affairs of the world outside their fragile walls seemed so very far away. And even when the war outside extended it's cold claws into the castle, with black-sealed letters from the Ministry and crying students going home to grieve, they stubbornly fortified the walls of denial that protected their palace. They pranked more and harder and terrorized the castle (because they had yet to realize how pranking was really just a type of running away).

Maybe Hogwarts wasn't perfect – maybe it was getting darker every single day – but it was _their_ territory and they would sure as hell do what they wanted.

Sirius' palace crashed down around him the summer after fifth year when he ran to James', covered in bruises and aching with the realization of his fantasy. Realization that he wasn't a king and really, there was nothing protecting him at all, no walls and no castle – nothing but James.

"What happened?" was the first question James asked as he ushered Sirius into his house.

"I'm never going back there," was all Sirius answered, his gray eyes stormy, darker and more vindictive than James had ever seen them.

But James only looped his arm around Sirius' shoulder. "Stay here," he said casually, "You don't need your family. We've got each other, right?"

With that, Sirius was immersed once again in their shared delusion. _PotterandBlack_ continued, with fake smiles and more elaborate pranks and more running from the truth of the world and their own mortality. They stayed in their crumbling palace with no crown and no subjects and they convinced themselves that they were Kings.

They spun stories of invincibility and _fighting_ and _glory_ until they believed it, too. And James finally got his Queen (like a fairytale) and _JamesandSirius_, _BlackandPotter_, fought as lights flew past – beautiful, they thought – because they were _Kings_, invulnerable, dauntless, and immortal. They were _magnificent_.

But when Sirius heard James scream, saw Bellatrix cackling madly, his world collapsed all over again (just like _that night_) and he couldn't get to James fast enough. He saw for the first time the ruins instead of the castle surrounding them. He saw that there was nobody, nothing protecting them but _each other_, because pure blood and charisma and _pranks _would not help them in a battle.

Later, James sat in St. Mungo's, grinning like an idiot and talking about how they had _shown_ the Death Eaters, about how they were going to _win_. They were going to be _heroes_ – it was a war, so that was the word now, not Kings but _heroes_. And Sirius grew angrier and angrier because James didn't see it, didn't see that they were trapped in the remnants of their fantasy, that they were alone, not invincible, and could _die_. That one day one of them might have to live without the other.

"Shut up, James!" he roared before he even realized he did. Because James was acting like a King or a hero, but all Sirius saw now was his pitiful denial.

James stared at him for a moment before he sighed, "I know," because he _had_ felt the walls crumbling around them, and now he realized that this time he couldn't build them back up either.

Because, even with no castle, they were still kings – kings of pretending and of _carrying on_, if nothing else.

* * *

**Notes**: For the SuperMegaFabby Friendship Only Challenge and the Monthly One-shot Competition using Prompt #100, "pretend".

So this is very different from what I usually write (more depressing and...metaphorical?), and I'm not completely happy with it, but I kind of like it. So, please tell me what you think! :)


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